Today, I want to share something that came to me in meditation. Last year, I shared with my loved ones that my intuition indicated that 2021 would be the year I find myself in a relationship. I have spent the past three years finding and refining who Mara is, discovering my purpose, and building a new and improved life after a toxic marriage.
As this year progressed, I forgot about this announcement from 2020, but a close friend recently asked me if I had found the “ONE’. I admit, I was caught off guard until she reminded me of what I said and wrote about last year. After our conversation, I took the time to really ponder her question. Was my intuition wrong? Have I been consumed with Mara Prose projects or isolated myself from possibilities?
It was not until I took the time to journal that it all became so clear to me. My intuition was not wrong. I did find a relationship this year and that relationship was with myself. I lost 40 pounds in 2021, I started reading again, pampering myself at the salon, resumed my love of shopping, and simply enjoyed the freedom to explore all that is ME. I have created balance in my life, and I no longer feel like I am running away or towards something. I am simply strolling along, enjoying life on MY terms.
After my divorce, I found that in the few months I attempted to date, I was attracting the same type of man I was so eager to divorce. Thankfully, God shut down these relationships before they went anywhere. Looking back, I realize it was never about them, it was about me trying to cope and find solace in the only relationship pattern I was familiar with; it was all I had known for 25 years. Each one of those dating opportunities would have only resulted in another toxic, disastrous relationship.
So, what I want to leave you with is that sometimes, the person you are seeking is You. If like me, you find yourself lost outside of a long-term relationship – take that time to heal. I cannot emphasize healing enough. It is because of my newfound healing that I can look back and simply laugh at the men who I thought could be the ONE after my divorce. Discover who you are outside of a relationship. Write down what you value, set priorities for yourself and most of all seek God who will bring balance to your life.
The very reason I forgot about this intuition from 2020 is because I have spent the past year falling in love with all that is Mara. My life is finally full, and I do not feel like I am missing anything at all – and believe me, that is a very foreign feeling to me. Most of my life was spent with this gut-wrenching feeling that I was missing something, but I could never identify or resolve that void.
I can honestly say I have never been happier than I am right now. I feel free and wholeheartedly believe that all things are possible with the grace of God. I look forward to the future and I am in no rush – it is God’s timing, not mine. I pray this euphoria becomes absolutely contagious to all who read this. Until next time, heal, grow, and love!
By Mara Prose
