When we dedicated the October issue to domestic violence awareness month, several women came forward to share their experiences in hopes that other survivors would know they are not alone. Unfortunately, due to time constraints, we were unable to include every submission. However, all of their stories deserve to be shared, including this one belonging to Karawn Nicole.
What was it about your attacker that initially attracted you?
I was attracted to him because we seemed to have a lot of the same interests and family goals. After being with him, I learned he was mirroring my energy.
In hindsight, were there any signs of his violent nature at the beginning of the relationship?
When we began to have sex, he would always rip my underwear off. At first, I thought it was the heat of passion in the moment, but I learned quickly that I had to set a boundary.
Can you describe the first time he became physically violent? If you chose to remain after the initial violence, share with us why?
We got into an argument, nothing major, and when we went to bed, we were intimate. He treated me so horribly. He was rough and uncaring about the pain I was in or how I was feeling. I didn’t know how to feel. We were married and raising four children. I was young and didn’t even understand what I was going through at the time. I didn’t know the trauma I was living in until I got out.
Tell us about your breaking point. What made you decide to leave?
I decided to leave after I would wake up out of my sleep with him raping me. I asked him not to do that to me while I was asleep. I told him that he didn’t have to do that. I loved him, and I was willing to be with him, but he continued to do it.
How have you used your experience with domestic violence to help others?
I talk to young people who are dating, share my story, and help them set healthy boundaries in their relationships. Thank God for healing.
What advice would you offer someone if they perceive the potential of violence early while dating?
Leave… There are too many people in this world who are willing to love you right for you to be loved wrong. The most important person you have to care for is you.
Be’n Original
