Public relations veteran Gabrielle Charles has elevated the brand of many a star. Her book, “Letters to the Uncouth,” is not just necessary for the industry, but for the entire culture as a whole.
Tell us about your new book “Letters to the Uncouth,” and the inspiration behind it.
I was inspired to write “Letters to the Uncouth” during the pandemic because we were forced to stop most of our everyday activities and really engage with people. I started to notice that a lot of people were operating in a way that was without couth or tact. It made me think that if they didn’t learn basic common courtesies as kids, maybe I should go ahead and put pen to paper to teach them the vital lessons.
A lot of inspiring talent make terrible mistakes when pitching their work like not including a greeting. What would you say is the reason for the growing lack of common courtesy?
I think it has a lot to do with this tech-enabled culture where everyone is glued to their phones without having to communicate in person because everyone is on one app or another. I feel the lack of personal engagement contributes to people losing humanity in the way we talk to one another. Something as basic as salutations – saying hi, hello, or how are you – seem to be disappearing.
Do you feel that mainstream media contributes to the breaking down of class and couth by amplifying negative behaviors?
I would that’s true to a small degree. I can’t place all of the blame on that. I actually feel that it has more to do with a person’s upbringing. If manners and common courtesy is embedded in you during your childhood at home, it most likely will always stick with you. It is a learned behavior.
What are some steps we can take to restore respectful and refined communication within the culture?
I think we need to listen or be more attuned to our inner voice. A lot of people call it a conscience, but I refer to it as The Holy Spirit. Your inner voice will help you use better judgment when you’re doing things. We have to stop for a moment and not be in such a hurry to get our point, pitch, ideas, or thoughts out that we don’t apply care to how they are expressed. The minute that you lose sight of that you’re talking to another human being is the minute you fail to show the respect and decency you would want yourself… It comes across as a bit insensitive as well as opportunistic.
How has your experience as a veteran publicist impacted the messaging of your book and your view of the entertainment industry as a whole?
As a publicist, I stand behind the scenes, taking in the full view for the benefit of my clients. It allows me to see things that my clients may not be able to see and help them respond in a way that would be beneficial to their respective brands and images… The messaging of this book is like almost having a publicist in your pocket. The book instructs you on the dos and don’ts of life. Don’t do this, do this instead. Make sure you say hello first at the start of every conversation even if you have something of importance to say like a major idea. There’s a whole chapter on salutations and greeting. Don’t just slide into someone’s DM’s with your pitch, flyers, or your ideas with saying “Hi” or “How are you?”
By the way, one of the things that I included in the book is a snippet of a non-disclosure agreement. If you’re pitching an idea and you’re super excited, don’t let your excitement cause you to lose sight of the whole business part of it. Make sure you present them with the agreement at the start so that your intellectual property is protected.
Another chapter covers applying wisdom… Everyone is on the same playing field when their mouths are closed. When your mouth is open and you start to speak, people can see who you are. They can see if you’re smart or not. I think wisdom is free to everyone, all they to do is take the time to tap into it. The creator will help you make better choices to protect your brand and image. In return, that will allow more opportunities to come to them. The purpose of the book is self-examination. It will give the readers cause to ponder on whether how they present themselves genuinely reflects who they actually are and not be walking around out being uncouth.
Your book would be a great help to people in all relationships, personally and professionally. If there was one thing you would want readers to take from this interview, what would it be?
I will say it again—wisdom is free. You don’t have to go out in the world behaving like a “smart dummy”. A lot of people think having a degree means you’re intelligent. You can hold a plethora of degrees and still have no clue. Compassion doesn’t cost a cent. You don’t have to be boastful and nasty or a hater. Hating on the next person’s successes doesn’t hinder their elevation, it stops yours. The person you hate on today may be in a position to open doors for your tomorrow. They won’t do that if you mistreat them. The practice of having couth doesn’t just make the world a better place, it makes for a better you.
